I think sometimes we are under the incorrect notion that the times in which we most strongly feel God’s presence are the most worshipful. That the warm fuzzies from serving or singing are the sign of a truly successful endeavor. If we do not have those feelings, perhaps it is God’s way of telling us that perhaps we could just as easily do something else with our time and be perfectly content.
I’m not sure that’s right.
My girlfriend, Adrienne, is a great listener. If we’re hanging out and talking, I have the capacity to ramble on about all sorts of different topics. If I’m talking MMA, she’s actually quite interested.1 She enjoys it and wants to know more about it. Sometimes though, I get to talking about DJing. Not just DJing, mind you, but the controller settings and design for my gear.
Does she really care about the new mapping I’ve just come up with for the Midifighter?2 Probably not. Does she care that I’ve found a new way to have one controller manage 4 decks and take care of samples and effects and give me LED feedback? Not really. Yet she not only listens, she asks questions and engages.
She doesn’t do this because she cares about MIDI controllers. She does this because she cares about me. That means the world to me.
What I’d like to suggest is that the times when we feel the least like worshipping God may in fact be the times that are most worshipful.
So, tonight, I’m going to our Catacombs music service even though I really don’t want to. Scratch that. I’m going to our Catacombs music service tonight BECAUSE I don’t want to. Maybe I’ll come away with some deep revelations from tonight’s event. Maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll leave and not feel even a twinge different. No matter. The fact that I strongly desire to not be there seems telling that I should.